Tranquilo, tranquilo

My teammates will love this story, because of the years I have developed nicknames and a reputation that can be wrapped up in one name, “Hassle.”  When I guess in Argentina football people who hassle are not liked much.  I thought my team got frustrated with me when every collision was a hard tackle or I dark out orders.  Well I pretty much felt excommunicate after playing with some guys five on five tonight.  The one language I felt I could speak down here; the one thing I thought would unite me with these people, when I failed to communicate was suddenly excluding me.  Despite me playing well, scoring a goal, taking people on, and creating chances, I was still the old man out at the end of the day.  

It has been two weeks down here and right now I feel like I don’t understand anything that is happening around me.  I walk the streets with my mouth closed tightly hoping I blend in and praying no one talks to me.  I stare blankly into the face of Norma as she rattles on about something that happened or something I need to do.  How I want to crawl into a shell and stay there.  

I keep being told “tranquilo,” which literally translates calm.  I am growing to hate the word!  Tranquilo on the soccer field?  How does that work?  Soccer is a game of passion, intensity, and effort.  It is a physical game!  Tranquilo when I am speaking?  I am anxious, nervous, and fearful all at once.  It is not a good recipe for being calm.  Tranquilo with the language.  I have been here two weeks.  The other students are flying past me.  I am not understanding anything, and all I want to do is learn this bloody language!  Which seems impossible right now!  I don’t want to be TRANQUILO.  I want to yell, run, scream, punch, and... cry.

I guess my teammates are not the only ones that think I need to relax.  So... I am here...  I am in Buenos Aires for five and a half more months.  I am going to have to learn to be “tranquilo.”  I am going to have to continue giving up control, practicing the language, and remain patient.  

Eleventh Day Conclusions

It is sunday afternoon, and I have left my room once to eat, and have spend the rest of the time sleeping, doing homework, and trying to rest.  I am plume exhausted.  It has also provided me some time to reflect on this past week.

I started school, which has been interesting since I am the only Grace student in my class.  I have two Australians, and eleven other Americans.  They all seem really nice and are quite funny, but they are definitely not Grace students.  I have had homework, and my first test is next Friday.  So class is going pretty well.  My week days have consisted of getting ready for school, school, and then chilling with the Grace students, doing homework, and hanging with my family.  Friday was the second grupo de vida (the small group my family is apart of).  We hung out till four in the morning playing pool and talking.  Saturday we went to the park right on the river with the grupo de jovens (which is similar to any youth group).  We played frisbee and a lot of soccer.  Then now Sunday, a day completely filled with rest because I am exhausted physically, mentally, and even emotionally.

As I have reflected on this past week, I have been able to come to some critical conclusions.  I love it here is probably the first and maybe the most important.  I have always been a small town guy, and being in Buenos Aires is not what I normally like, but I love the city.  I love the people, I love the culture, and I love the language.  In thinking about that I have decided that I could see myself living here.  It would take some radical things happening in my life, but I could see it possibly happening.  (Sorry mom,  I know that is not what you want to hear ;). )

The other conclusion that I have made is that no matter how far you travel from home, from problems, from relationships they still remain on your mind.  I can't seem to get certain people out of my mind, especially family and a few really close friends.  I think about what they are doing and wonder if I cross their mind.  I guess it is apart of being homesick, although I don't miss my house a ton.  It is the people I miss.  This country has not made me a new person.  What is bad, evil, and gross in me has not been stripped away since I am in a new place.  Although God is working on my hard and molding me into the man I would be I have figured out that you can't run from problems (not that this trip was an attempt to flee problems), but the conclusion still remains.

It has been eleven days and I have been challenged in relationships, in pride, in cultural aspects, in actions, and in about every area you can think of.  It has been good.  I have not yet seen the fruit, but I feel the pruning.  God is good, and if I say "en el nombre de Jesús" or "in the name of Jesus," He still is Christ who died for my sins.

Its getting hard

So I have been here not even a week and I don't think this head ache is going to go away.  I have hit my first wall.  The first few days were good, I learned a lot, I was loving the people, but now everything feels like a blur.  I am always tired.  I just feel completely drained.  I have hit the first stage of culture shock, and I need to be careful what I do next.  I can easily fall into a slump where I learn very little because I put too much time into tv, movies, Facebook, and other "American" things.  Although that is all I want to do.  I want to isolate myself right now.  It is so frustrating when I know I can't.  I don't know.  This is the hard part of the trip.  The adjustment.  Keep praying I will need God.  Thanks, I miss everyone!

Excursion of the owls!

So I just returned from my first excursion out on the town with the natives, that is other then my family.  Four members of the grupo de vida (en translation is the group of life from the church) went for ice cream at one thirty in the morning.  I thought of my dad saying nothing good happens after midnight, or my friends at Grace saying that babies are made after ten, but neither are true in Argentina!  We talked about life, about America, about Argentina, and a bunch of subjects that I was unable to comprehend, which is standard now.  I was surprised to that as I sat eating my ice cream I noticed that it was not the youth or the middle aged out during these late hours of the night, but it was everyone, but babies lol.  It was as if they were all night owls.

But the best part of the story is not that I got to my house at four forty-five in the morning, but when I arrived the door was locked.  Well that did not surprise me, and I have keys for the locks, but there is one lock that a key does not exist for, it is a lock that can only be opened from the inside, and guess what?  Yep that was locked!  As I sat in the stair case wondering, what I would be able to do, I decided to pray.  I prayed tried the lock again, but the same result happened.  I prayed again and prepared myself to sleep in the stair way, then suddenly Chiche, my quiet grandfather opened the door.  He looked at me and pointed to my room as if I had done something wrong.  In my ignorance I asked him how things were, in response he asked me if I was out.  Well what a silly question, of course I was out, but I understood his meaning.  Calmly I responded that I was with the grupo de vida.  He nodded and walk towards the bathroom, where a light was already on and he continued his business.  I have no idea why he was up, whether it was to prepare for work, or because he had to use the restroom, but he was a blessing and an answer to prayer.  

I also received more kisses tonight then I have in all of my life!  In Argentina though you kiss to greet and when leaving among friends, so soon my receiving kisses from girls will be normal... LOL

Just the Beginning

I am three days into my journey, I have talked to my mom for about thirty minutes, and I am starting just fine.  When I think about how and my family I get a little home sick, but it quickly fades with the bustle of life here.  I am going to meet someone, playing with Maxi (my three year old brother), or talking with Norma about something that I don't understand. LOL.

Today I went to meet an American girl who has married and Argentine and is now living in the city.  I don't think it is far fetched that I could be able to do it also, but most likely not.  I watched Maxi and another boy play in the pool, then I came home to Norma who demanded that I study.  I don't even have classes yet, all I have is an entrance exam, but I must study!  After I studied some, and took a nap (haha), I talked with Norma (my grandma).  I am falling in love with her.  I can't understand most of what she says, she talks way too fast, but she reminds me of my grandma.  She is sweet, loves me even though she does not know me and makes me laugh.  The part of our conversation that I understood was about me stopping my, in her words, "umah ahai, ahh, ummm, uhhhh."  She told me to calm down, think, and then speak.  It is pretty hard when she never stops talking, but the the advice is welcome.

Now it is time for small groups.  It will be interesting, but I am looking forward to it.  Eight more people to meet :)  Right now I am already thinking in Spanish and soon I will be able to understand and talk properly... Well hopefully.

Chao por Ahora

La Día Última

There is now two suit cases, a back pack, and a small messenger bag stuffed to the rim sitting upstairs in my room.  They are waiting for hands to grasp them and throw them in a dark trunk and make a long journey across the world.  I feel similar beside I am sitting at the breakfast bar and I am stuffed with a delicious pecan waffle.  However, I wait for someone to tell me to get a car, board a plane, and end up in a foreign country. 

I am quite anxious.  The culture does not scary me, if anything I am excited to be in the culture with soccer, people, and family being the importance, while time and tasks are minimized.  The people don't worry me either.  Over the last two days I have chatted with my host mom and she seems wonderful.  She seems fun and hilarious, which I expect nothing less from this family.  So the people and the culture does not scary me, but the language does.  I am afraid of failing, not understanding, and the level of difficulty that it will take to learn.  I will have to grow, develop, and huddle the language barrier as it presents itself.  It may seem insurmountable, but I know it can be done.  Other have gone before me.  I know it can be done.  At least that is what I tell myself.  

I will be spending my last night in the United States with family and friends, cherishing my last moments here.  It is weird thinking I won't have my mother to cuddle with or pick on, or my dad to fight and wrestle with, or any of my friends and soccer mates to hang with.  These are people that I have grown accustom to, people I expect in my life.  Adjusting to a new family with a new church and new people will be hard.  Especially since I do not care for uncontrolled change.  Despite my anxiety and my fearfulness, I am incredibly excited to go.  It will be a journey of a life time.  One that I will never forget.  A journey that will no doubt change and effect how I see the world, others, and even myself.  I am excited, grateful, and eager for the trip.  No going back now.  COWABUNGA!!!  

(This is not me, but I thought a good picture of how I feel; terrified, but wildly excited) ------------------------------------>